What you mean by "Open marriage" or "open relationship" !!?

What you mean by "Open marriage" or "open relationship"? Whatever you defined above is nothing but "keeping the options open". Yeah... there are plenty such "open relationship" out in this world, I assume. I would compare someone, who keep going behind everyone in this world, with that of a street dog. There is a whole lot of difference between caring a dog, raised at home and that of a street dogs. Both are dogs, but their quality and standards differ considerably.

To Caring

You shocked me with your narration and understanding of the Hindu marriage process. Probably, you must be one of the many in this "modern world", who have such opinion. There is nothing wrong with the Hindu marriage process, including "trading the buffalo in the upcountry market", but the problem lies with the people, who (mis)understand the marriage process. Have you ever thought, the so-called "ugly buffalo", who gets traded in the market does the same, when she gets her son married later.

Certainly, Hindu dharma never preaches or accepts such trading. Personally speaking, when my parents began my marriage process in 2001, upon my return from abroad, we received about 120 horoscopes from different sources. We picked only one and tallied it. I was so careful, not to entertain such trading process of the girl. So, we asked for her picture in advance. But, her mother said "we don't have the habit of sending pictures in advance", but they adamantly got my picture for her approval. we went to her home and had the first glimpse of her. Before reaching her home, we decided to say "YES" to this girl, however she is, though she had seen me in picture.

I am now wondering, whether I was subjected to such a "buffalo trading" in this way Winky.

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Men Vs women

 Men Vs women

First Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their Luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off If the women leave them.
7. Although the women leave them they still don't learn from their Mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Now Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive Clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress Beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just “An old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still Expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't Believe you.

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something to think about

The Pig And The Horse

There was a farmer who collected horses; he only needed one more breed
to complete his collection. One day, he found out that his neighbor
had the particular horse breed he needed. So, he constantly bothered
his neighbor until he sold it to him. A month later, the horse became
ill and he called the veterinarian, who said:
- Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three
days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're
going to have to put him down.
Nearby, the pig listened closely to their conversation.
The next day, they gave him the medicine and left. The pig approached
the horse and said:
- Be strong, my friend. Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!
On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left. The pig came
back and said:
- Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll
help you get up. Let's go! One, two, three...
On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said:
- Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow.
Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.
After they left, the pig approached the horse and said:
- Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come
on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two,
three... Good, good. Now faster, come on.... Fantastic! Run, run more!
Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!!!
All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the
field and began shouting:
- It's a miracle! My horse is cured. This deserves a party. Let's kill the pig!




Points for reflection: this often happens in the workplace. Nobody truly knows which employee actually deserves the merit of success, or who's actually contributing the necessary support to make things happen.
LEARNING TO LIVE WITHOUT RECOGNITION IS A SKILL!
If anyone ever tells you that your work is unprofessional, remember:
amateurs built the Ark and professionals built the Titanic.

DON'T LOOK TO BECOME A PERSON OF SUCCESS, LOOK INSTEAD TO BECOME A
PERSON OF VALUE!



And when it’s our turn, remember to speak up for the pig J

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Live positive and be positive

Let us think over........

Why is the media here so negative?

Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements?
We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit.. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.
I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.


In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime.. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T.Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology.


Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is.. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation.


..
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke. The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.


YOU say, say and say.. What do YOU do about it?


Take a person on his way to Singapore . Give him a name - 'YOURS'. Give him a face - 'YOURS'. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are.. You pay $5 (approx. Rs.. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity… In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai .. YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah.
YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds (Rs..650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, 'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand ..
Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?

In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan ..
Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.
We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.
This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public.

When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?
What does a system consist of? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.
Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.


Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too….. I am echoing J. F. Kennedy's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians…..


'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'


Lets do what India needs from us.
Forward this mail to each Indian for a change instead of sending Jokes or junk mails.


Thank you,

Dr.. Abdul Kalam

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Mantra of true friendship.

sand & Stone

A story tells that two friends were walking through
the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument,
and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got
slapped
was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to
take
a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started
drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near
drowning, he wrote on a stone:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best
friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you
write on a stone, why?" The other friend replied "When someone hurts us
we
should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it
away.
But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in
stone
where no wind can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN
STONE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to
appreciate
them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

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Traits of Effective Leadership

Honesty
Being honest is one of the most vital effective leadership traits in successful leaders. Honesty should be shown towards the organization which the leader is leading and also towards his fellow employees and stake holders of the organization. Whether it is a small company or a large multi-national organization, honesty in the leadership of the company alone can take it ahead on the path of progress. Honest leaders have a lot of mass support and respect in their company, as well as in the society. The unity in the company increases a lot with honest leadership.

Talent
Talent must be included in the effective leadership traits list. If you observe carefully, you will notice that most of the famous world leaders are highly qualified and have the ability to think in a more creative and unique way than the rest of the world. These people are visionaries and know very well, what will be the short term as well as the long term effects of their actions. Reasoning abilities, decision making, effective management and effective leadership styles constitute the concept of 'talent'. Though many leaders are said to be 'born-talented', this talent gets nurtured only with practical experience.

Confidence and Enthusiasm
Confidence and enthusiasm are the essential and effective leadership traits, which make a great leader. A good leader should always be charged up and should boost the morale of his workforce. He should have tremendous energy and enthusiasm to work for long hours and achieve the set targets. Having faith in one's abilities and the eagerness to learn new things, improving with the changing times by adapting to the new technologies and learning from the previous mistakes are all signs of a smart and effective leadership. However, one should note that over confidence and excessive false pride can be a hindrance to the progress and development of the company or a team. The effective leadership traits include generating a team spirit among the workforce by proper implementation of strategies.

Respecting Opinions of Others
Another one of the effective leadership traits is the important value of respecting the opinions of others. While taking any decision, whether big or small, all the concerned persons should be consulted and given prior information. Give the freedom to every person to voice his/her opinion freely and try to implement all those suggestions which are in the good interests of the team or organization. Taking decisions on your own without taking into account the presence of others gives rise to unnecessary feelings of rivalry and hatred, which will definitely prove to be detrimental to the interests of the entire group.

Presence of Mind and Decision Taking Abilities
Presence of mind and decision taking abilities are those effective leadership traits which can make a very successful leader. There are many situations wherein some kind of difficulties attack the progress or even the existence of the group. Such situations can be overcome by presence of mind and taking brave decisions at the right time. Decision making is a very complex process and needs a dynamic leader to complete it. For more leadership articles, refer to:

    * Effective Leadership Qualities and Skills
    * Different Styles of Leadership - Six Leadership Styles
    * Leadership Types and Styles

The effective leadership traits mentioned above are needed in leaders in all fields of life. Outstanding leadership skills have changed the lives of many people till date.

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Nick Vujicic: a man with no limbs who teaches people how to get up

Nick Vujicic was born in Melbourne, Australia with the rare Tetra-amelia disorder: limbless, missing both arms at shoulder level, and having one small foot with two toes protruding from his left thigh. Despite the absence of limbs, he is doing surf and swimming, and playing golf and soccer. Nick graduated from college at the age of 21 with a double major in Accounting and Financial Planning. He began his travels as a motivational speaker, focusing on the topics that today's teenagers face.

 Nick has a small foot on his left hip which helps him balance and enables him to kick. He uses his one foot to type, write with a pen and pick things up between his toes.

'I call it my chicken drumstick,' joked Nick, who was born in Melbourne, Australia, but now lives in Los Angeles. 'I'd be lost without it.

'When I get in the water I float because 80 per cent of my body is lungs and my drumstick acts as a propeller.'

Due to his faith as an Evangelical Christian, Nick has chosen to remain a virgin until marriage although he has had long-term girlfriends in the past.

'He's very modest but he gets marriage proposals from women all the time,' said Nick's friend and publicist Steve Appel, from Los Angeles.

 I felt cold and bitter. I hated God for doing this to me and was terrified of what would happen when my parents weren't there to look after me.

'I could brush my own teeth with a wall mounted brush and wash my own hair with pump action soap, but there was so much that was impossible for me.'

At age ten Nick, tried to drown himself in the bath but luckily the attempt was unsuccessful.

'I felt there was no purpose when you lack purpose and strength it is hard to hold on,' he said.

But with the help of his religion, friends and family, Nick managed to pull through to become an international symbol of triumph over adversity.

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Interpersonal skills depend a lot on your intra-personal skills!

So you have got your promotion, moved up the ladder, have a larger team to handle now – well many congratulations to you. But the question is, are you prepared for such a role right now? With the skills you possess, the knowledge you hold and the great insights you have, are you able to encompass interpersonal skills and pay heed to the needs of your team? or allow me to  put it this way- Do you have the appropriate interpersonal skills to become a good boss?

As we move up the ladder we believe that all the things that we have acquired so far along with all the success will continue to foster further success in the future as well, though this might not be the case always. With growing success and positions we need to cultivate certain behaviors or skills which will help us in managing the large work force with a high success ratio.

We have had enough discussions on bad bosses, bosses who abuse; as they are the legends of the game :)…but why not for  change talk about those who played a key role in making us what we are.

I have been fortunate enough to have some good bosses too, and will share some of the experiences with you all.

Here is a Story: I met Patrick during the interview, immediately after the first meeting we both decided to work together, the gelling was such that the enthusiasm could be seen in the eyes. Even when we were in a different locations (he was placed in Germany (HQ) and I was in India), he made sure that the learning curve grew consistently over a period of time. He never interfered in any of my decisions but made sure that I did an analysis of all the pros and cons; helped me in understanding global HR practices, so that I could prosper in the company. With high EQ, he taught me to empathize with people and then reconsider decisions, policies and procedures. He was truly a people’s person-humble and very popular amongst all the employees in various regions as he was the Director HR Asia Pacific.

Similarly, have you ever considered what are the qualities you appreciated in your ‘good’ boss? In order to inculcate the same in yourself just enlist them and start working. Some of these are:

Communication skills: As a boss how you interact with team members can be seen from your communication skills and it could either make or break the interpersonal relations. The tone, pitch and choice of words can easily express the behavior and interpersonal skills. Special emphasis on honing listening skills is empirical to be successful with people around you. Team members want to know if they are being heard.

High on EQ: In order to progress, one must have shown all the intellectual skills with consistency, now is the time when one needs to sharpen the skills of being a people’s person, and the best way out is empathy and genuineness. Think from their viewpoint, what would be best for them and also for the company. Provide solutions keeping in mind the team member’s welfare and growth. Appraise them- just a pat on the back may be, or occasionally sitting with them and having lunch, just like Mr. Adi Godrej started taking lunch once in a week in the Company’s cafeteria with all the employees.

Proper delegation: Delegating the right amount of authority with responsibilities is actually an art, and very rarely are people connoisseurs of this art. It only comes when the Manager knows the strengths and weaknesses of his/her team members properly, and then delegation happens with appropriate skills. Practice also makes people perfect in the art of delegation, initially there are times that one might not get the desired results and make mistakes but it does not mean that the chosen one is not the right person for the assigned work. Give them another chance and then rate them on the scale of success.

Cheering: Encouraging taking of initiatives, thinking out of the box and every time you have given an idea instead of refuting it down (S) he ensured that you understood the repercussions and then decided to go ahead with those ideas. Cheering reflects the vision of a person, how he plans to take his team ahead and thinks about their growth path and succession planning too. As I say, a compliment a day can make your employees happy and gay!

Decision Making: Though it has been talked about in delegation, but we will deal with it as another interpersonal skill required in a ‘good’ boss. They not only take good decisions themselves with people’s participation but also inculcate the same in their teams as well. Learning comes from trial and error and such bosses will always encourage taking some ‘not so good’ decisions too, although not at the stake of their business.

Less Interference: Personally, I really liked this in my boss that he hardly ever interfered in my work areas, however he taught me a lot, and still he used to manage to keep himself away from many things which now a days is a difficult task for some insecure managers/bosses or the legends referred to as the ‘bad’ bosses.

Sense of humor: One should know how to keep healthy humor flowing in the team, with some witty remarks, sometimes sharing of anecdotes and good jokes. While giving feedback to the team one should always keep some humor handy so that things can be handled positively.

Interpersonal skills depend a lot on your intra-personal skills! So make a preference and instill these aforementioned qualities and skills in yourself and who knows you may end up being the next ‘GOOD’ BOSS!

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The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Shared Services Implementations

Shared services is not a new concept. Even the Egyptians centralized stone quarrying activity to facilitate the construction of multiple pyramids. For the modern-day world, the shared services concept started gaining traction on the business scene about twenty years ago as a tactic to reduce cost and streamline organizations. It was also an alternative to outsourcing. Why not in-source certain activities needed by an organization? Keep it under the company’s control-- but also take advantage of economies of scale through centralization. The functions typically targeted for shared services have been Supply Chain Management (SCM), IT, HR and Finance.

The expected outcome has been services offered at a lower cost with an equal or better service level. It didn’t stop there. Companies soon began looking beyond the cost and streamlining savings expecting more value: better service quality, faster turnaround, greater consistency (especially important in a quickly scaling enterprises) and ideally, increased business value. Additional functions being swept into the shared services movement included: communications, security, legal, facilities and other functional activities conducive to this approach, e.g., engineering services and product marketing. All of this sounds great on the surface-- but not so fast.

Lessons Learned from Shared Services Successes & Mistakes

Shared services implementations have a mixed track record of success. Depending on the industry, company and employee population surveyed, you’d likely discover that such an undertaking can also increase costs, add complexity and even slow internal processes and programs. The Hackett Group (consulting organization sampled 250 companies) which produced a report on this topic in 2009 noted that only about a third of all organizations that had completed shared services implementations were able to generate cost savings of 20% or more. In my view, even a cost savings of 10% would be a fantastic number if other targeted objectives were achieved too (meaning that the functional cost savings didn’t somehow negatively impact employee productivity or business viability elsewhere in the organization.)

However, after leading and/or participating in the implementation of shared services models in five global companies, I wave the red flag of caution and say: “Be careful what you do.” I believe many implementations rob Peter to pay Paul, so to speak, and sometimes even create lasting disabilities in the fabric of an organization

Reasons to Implement Shared Services

    * Reduce cost. Unless you’re dealing in gold or diamonds, most of your cost is wrapped up in personnel. It’s likely that there is a cost advantage for some degree of centralization if designed and implemented correctly.
    * Efficiency & Accuracy. Scaling a regional or global business that doesn’t utilize centralized services invariably winds up building in duplication, inconsistency and conflict of processes, programs and systems. It took SAP (70,000 employees worldwide) four years to unravel and true-up their HRIS system even though SAP makes and sells HRIS software. When I first arrived at this company I couldn’t generate a single global headcount report for key clients without directly calling each of the 23 country liaisons – in order to validate numbers. We were flying blind.
    * Domain Expertise. A centralized service can generally offer more access to domain expertise. In a decentralized environment, few divisions or business units can afford the heavy-hitting compensation, IT or SCM process gurus. Having state-of-the-art experts (in central centers) can create a competitive advantage in Total Rewards, HCM processes and just about every area imaginable. Also, in a distributed model each specialization will likely have different levels of expertise, program timing and priorities. This can create huge operational conflict for companies. One part of the organization may emphasize people development and rotational assignments, another might not. The result is that employees will defect from one group (where they may be needed most) and jump to another for a better career trajectory.
    * Continuity of Services: Shared services can promote ubiquity of programs, services and processes across a company. As organizations scale, there is nothing worse than conflicting infrastructure. It forces companies to become internally focused as they bog down in complexity – the reverse of what’s needed in a competitive, customer focused business environment. Tasks such as assimilating a new employee, transferring an employee from one group to the next, even administrating a performance review can become nightmarish for managers, employees and the support groups charged with facilitating these activities.
    * Accurate Measure of Cost & Value: When certain services, programs and processes are distributed, it is very difficult to understand the true value and associated cost of the service. Centralization promotes common understanding, definition, service level agreements and associated metrics. This increases visibility into the cost/value equation of internal services.

I didn’t capture every upside for implementing shared services. I’m sure that you can add to the list. Bottom line: there are compelling benefits to considering this model. This is why many companies jump on the bandwagon without fully understanding that there are downsides, too. Some of these downsides can create organizational disabilities.

Cautions When Implementing Shared Services

    * One Size Doesn’t Fit All: The underpinning of a Shared Services Model is efficiency and consistency. In practice the shared services leaders drive to make the service and program offerings vanilla or “we do it one way”. It’s a logical path to economies of scale. Yet, most businesses when growing multi-nationally or globally require more than vanilla from  support functions. If the shared services organization can’t accommodate variations on a theme in support of local business needs then a condition occurs that I call an “organizational disability”. That is, hard driving business leaders expect support functions to be enablers – not energy sapping, procedurally heavy bureaucracies. And, they will find workarounds if they can’t get what they want from internal groups. Complex, confusing internal processes can undermine innovation, company spirit and productivity on levels that are hard to quantify but the impact on profitability can be substantial.
    * Systems, Technology, Tools & Management Capability Must Support Centralization: Many times organizations jump into shared services only to learn that the appropriate infrastructure isn’t available to automate and support a central delivery mechanism. If the technology and infrastructure is lacking these aspects can bog down the shared services implementation for years and at the same time add greater complexity and unwanted drag to the growth and development of an company.
    * Shift Administrative Burden and Other Duties to Employees and Managers: There is a cliché that comes with shared services implementations as local finance, IT and HR employees are eliminated when centralization is in effect: “These are tasks that managers and employees should have been doing all along.” Wrong thinking. This may be true with regard to making sure managers complete employee performance reviews – and now that you have a central data base (thanks to shared services) the outstanding reviews can be identified and managers reminded to get these done. However, to think that a company is somehow saving money by shifting administrative burden to managers and employees doesn’t make sense. Anything that detracts from designing, building and selling products and services is generally bad for business.
    * The Primary Purpose is Maximum Savings: Shared services offers a variety of competitive advantages. If the overriding objective is cost savings (very typical for companies to become myopic this way) then the intended effort will likely backfire. For example, one company implemented a preferred vendor program as the recruiting function was centralized. This restricted business units in specialized disciplines from using niche recruiting firms too expensive to fit the preferred vendor RFP. The result was increased time-to-fill, lower quality candidate slates and delayed project work. This infuriated hiring managers under pressure to deliver product; unable to hire the right expertise. The centralized recruiting function had saved money and was running at a lower cost with this preferred vendor program. Did this benefit the company overall? I would suggest that this approach, cost savings as the primary focus, created a business disability such that the company’s competitive position was compromised. What is really scary is that many companies don’t acknowledge this point. A short-term, bottom-line only focus is easy to justify when money is tight but this short-sighted approach can create dangerous disabilities that undermine productivity.

Shared services offers a cost-effective, efficient and consistent platform for service delivery. It is generally a good strategy to facilitate regional and global scaling. Just acknowledge that this is a paradigm shift. Leadership and those charged with implementing such a model need to invest time upfront to make sure that the intended result is achieved. The risks are too high to informally throw the dice and engage in this activity. In-depth thinking is required to make informed decisions about support function value and service levels.

I have developed and used the model below to provide a contextual framework for how to determine service delivery expectations and the ultimate organization design. As indicated in the graphic, it is possible to under invest as well as over invest in a service. The trick is to think deeply enough on the topic to understand the value-add of each service and the degree of investment needed. That way you’ll prevent a shared services organization from becoming too expensive and providing unnecessary services or the converse, too lean and creating organizational disabilities in the process.

For example, if every dime possible is squeezed out of an IT support function (under invested) you might wind up with all employees needing to become mini IT experts. I recently worked at a Silicon Valley based company that outsourced IT and the balance of the IT organization was moved into a shared services model. The projected savings was about ten million dollars. When the implementation was completed engineers started defecting to other companies because the IT environment was so arcane that it severely impacted work effort. Login times increased, equipment was substandard, servers were slow.

Did the company save money with this centralized IT initiative? I would suggest the reverse to be true. Employee productivity dropped, voluntary employee attrition increased and morale became negative. It is hard to quantify but I guarantee that the cost to the business exceeded the ten million dollars in savings – many times over. The IT disability is alive and well in this company today. Employees have devised an elaborate series of work-arounds to secure better equipment and needed IT support.

My parting suggestion: If you are leading or participating in a shared services implementation, get off to a good start by determining the value proposition of each function to be centralized. Map these programs, processes and services against the value proposition model depicted above. Vet your conclusions with leadership, service providers and end users. That way your project will start off on the right foot, with the proper expectations set and a higher probability that the best result will be achieved.

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The 3 Things Employees Need to Be Happy

Even the most “fun” companies on the planet may be lacking in employee morale. So you have a pingpong table in your break room; you hand out yo-yos as random gifts, you have an endless supply of coffee and even group outings to theme parks. How in the world can anyone on the payroll not love their life? Well, if you have employees that are over 15 years old, it may take a little more than table tennis and roller coasters to provide a truly fulfilling career.

So you throw some money at them. Sure, that’ll solve the problem. All anyone wants is a bonus or a raise right? Well, for a lot of people a good salary is enough to keep them quiet and still, at least until something better comes along. But if you want to cultivate an environment that will inspire employee loyalty, it takes more than arbitrary gestures and rewards. It takes a genuine commitment to creating employee morale and deep, lasting fulfillment. There’s no magic formula for that either, but it starts with a little common decency and grows from there.

Respect

Respect is a funny thing. It’s one of those ambiguous concepts that mean different things to everyone. We know when we have respect for someone else, and we know when we don’t. We know when we feel respected and we know when we are made to feel like dirt. Yet sometimes it can be difficult to put a finger on exactly why. When it comes to employee relations and keeping up employee morale, showing respect takes more than just a regular paycheck.

It’s easy to treat employees like a collection of mindless drones. It’s easy to play "Big Brother," to micromanage and offer copious criticism. It takes more effort to treat every employee as an individual and utilize their specific strengths. It’s difficult to trust people and to offer positive feedback in addition to constructive criticism. But sometimes, respect isn’t about doing what’s easy. Sometimes it’s about faith.

Ok, so we’re talking about business, right? There’s no room for touchy-feely words like “faith”. I get it: there’s a bottom line to think about. But respect isn’t a warm and fuzzy word. It is can be the make or break factor between an employee doing their best work and one who does just enough to get by, because they secretly hate management. As adults, we tend to think of ourselves as capable, responsible people. We like to be treated that way in our jobs. If you can’t trust and respect the people you hire, then the problem is probably in your hiring process. When you hire the right people, and train them well, give them the tools to succeed and the space to do so, that is the epitome of respect.

Every child prays that he or she will grow up and find a rewarding occupation. But as adults, many of us settle for something that “pays the bills” but doesn’t give us any real happiness. Deep down, we all still have the desire to truly enjoy the 40+ hours a week we spend earning our living. When employees feel trusted and respected, they are more likely to be passionate and invest themselves in the work they do. And that’s the kind of job performance that pays off in a big way for everyone.

Growth

Even when you treat employees well, thank them for their efforts and give them the freedom to absorb themselves into their work, they are going to need something more eventually. In our lives, we want to feel as though we are moving forward. If we don’t feel ourselves progressing, we may feel as though we are stagnating. But unfortunately in our careers, we often spend years just treading water and wondering when our ship will come in. The problem with many good— even great— jobs is that they are often dead ends.

Everyone wants to know what the next step will be in a relationship or in their career. We want to feel as though we are working toward something and not as though we are hamsters trapped in a wheel. If there is no way to move up or over, many of your best employees will eventually move on. It may be because they leave for better positions, or it may be because their frustration with a lack of mobility diminishes their job performance.

If an employee is constantly forced to watch some people gain more and more authority while his or her own time, skill and dedication is completely dismissed, that commitment will inevitably wane. Obviously, there are a limited number of higher-up positions in any company, so not everyone can get promoted every time they deserve it. But it’s within the boss’s power to add a skylight to even the most limiting of glass ceilings. I’m not just talking pay raises either. Cash incentives are absolutely a great way to show appreciation and growth. But if that’s not in the budget, there are other ways.

Letting qualified employees take on more responsibility, or have more influence in decision-making is always a great way to provide growth without having to create a new position. Sometimes, it really is as simple as letting someone take on a new project or making them feel like their experience and insight is valued in determining the direction of the business. If a person doesn’t ever feel like they are going someplace with your company, they will probably be going to someone else’s pretty soon.

Recourse

Money, respect and growth potential are really important to employee satisfaction, but even if your company grants all of those things, some problems will still persist. If you don’t have a process for dealing with internal issues, no cash bonus, good will or promotion is going to be enough to keep your best talent. On top of the basics, workers need a way to vent their concerns constructively, offer suggestions and file grievances. It’s not enough to say “just tell the office manger” if the office manager is a busy body that nobody trusts.

Every office needs a way for employees to seek solutions to their problems in a real way. If legitimate issues are consistently not handled, employee frustration will eventually give way to deep dissatisfaction.  A “suggestion box” is great if it actually gets used and if good suggestions are taken seriously. But if it’s an anonymous suggestion box, it needs to be in a place where people can drop ideas in it inconspicuously—which means the boss’s office is not the place for it.

The human resources department is meant to be a place where employees can go to lodge complaints. When it works well, it works really well. But when there is a breakdown, red-tape or complicated procedures, complaining about a problem can become more of a hassle than the problem itself. That is a major issue. When an employee has a problem that they can’t resolve, it will fester and grow. Eventually something will have to give and the situation is likely to blow up. This may result in you losing a great worker over something trivial that could have been resolved if there was a method for proper recourse from the beginning. In order for employees to stay happy, they need the opportunity to see their issues addressed consistently, privately and completely. Without that process, someone is going to wind up very unhappy— and someone may even wind up unemployed!

No one is completely blissful at work all the time. We all have good days and bad days. What it comes down to is how we feel at the end of the day: Do we count down the seconds until we can bolt for the door, or do we head out with a smile and satisfaction from another day’s work? As workers, when we are offered respect, a chance to grow and recourse for dealing with issues, we are much more likely to be truly content with our jobs. You can’t make everyone happy all of the time. The right combination of empathy and opportunity may keep the majority of your workforce happy— at least most of the time. Truly happy employees will be the ones that are most loyal, trustworthy, and productive. Happy employees are the ones that you are sad to see go, when they retire after 20 years of dedicated service.

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Work & Service

One evening a Swami of Sri Ramakrishna Mutt was addressing the participants on the concept of work culture.

One of the participants asked the following question to the Swami: "I am a senior manager of Materials Department and I joined this organization 25 years ago as an Engineer Trainee and over the last 25 years I have gone through every experience in the organization and I am now the senior manager looking after the material function independently.

During the initial part of my career, the job was very challenging and interesting. Every day was exciting and I looked forward to each day with lot of interest. However, all those exciting days are gone since I do not find my job any more interesting because there is nothing new in my job. As I have seen and handled every conceivable situation there is no more challenges in my work.

I am now feeling bored because I am doing a routine job. However, Swami, I am living in the same house for over forty years, I am the son for the same parents for over forty-five years; I am the father for the same children for the past ten years and the husband for the same lady for the past twenty years. In these personal roles I do not feel bored and the passage of time has not taken away the zeal from me.

Please tell me why I am bored of the routine in the office and not in the house?" This was a very interesting question and we were all very anxious and curious to know what the Swami had to say!! The response from him was very interesting and convincing. He asked the executive the question: "Please tell me for whom does your Mother cook?"

The executive replied that obviously the mother cooks for others. Then the Swami said that the mother "Serves" others and because of this service mindedness, she is not feeling tired or bored. But in an office, we "Work" and not "Serve". Anything we consider, as service will not make us feel bored. That is difference between Serving and Working.

He asked the executive to consider his work as service and not merely a work!! This was a very interesting analysis!! Whenever you put a larger context around your work and see a broader meaning for your work, you will take interest in your work. An awareness of larger purpose of your job and an appreciation of its importance will make a very big difference in your internal energy.

You should believe that you are here for a purpose and should believe in the spiritual context of your role.

Attitude Matters!!!

Never settle for less than your dreams, somewhere sometime you will find them.

WHEN THE WORLD SAYS, "NO!"

From "One Minute Can Change a Life" by Steve Goodier


When Henry Ward Beecher was a young boy in school, he learned a lesson in self-confidence, which he never forgot.

He was called upon to recite in front of the class. He had hardly begun when the teacher interrupted with an emphatic, "No!" He started over and again the teacher thundered, "No!" Humiliated, Henry sat down.

The next boy rose to recite and had just begun when the teacher shouted, "No!" This student, however, kept on with the recitation until he completed it. As he sat down, the teacher responded, "Very good!" Henry was irritated. "I recited just as he did," he complained to the teacher.

But the instructor replied, "It is not enough to know your lesson, you must be sure. When you allowed me to stop you, it meant that you were uncertain. If all the world says, 'No!' it is your business to say, 'Yes!' and prove it."

The world says, "No!" in a thousand ways:

"No! You can't do that."
"No! You are wrong."
"No! You are too old."
"No! You are too young."
"No! You are too weak."
"No! It will never work."
"No! You don't have the education."
"No! You don't have the background."
"No! You don't have the money."
"No! It can't be done."

And each "No!" you hear has the potential to erode your confidence bit by
bit until you quit altogether. Though the world says, "No!" to you today,
will you determine to say, "Yes!" and prove it?

FAILURE

Next time you come across failure, you need not feel bad about it but take it as a challenge, because this is what failure means....

Failure doesn't mean - You are a failure, It means - You have not succeeded.
Failure doesn't mean - You accomplished nothing, It means - You have learned something.
Failure doesn't mean - That you have been a fool, It means - You had a lot of faith.
Failure doesn't mean - You've been disgraced, It means -You were willing to try.
Failure doesn't mean - You don't have it, It means - You have to do something in a different way.
Failure doesn't mean - You are inferior, It means - You are not perfect.
Failure doesn't mean - You've wasted your life, It means - You have a reason to start afresh.
Failure doesn't mean - You should give up, It means - You must try harder.
Failure doesn't mean - You'll never make it, It means - It will take a little longer.

NO EXCUSES

Don't you just hate it when people make excuses for their failures? So do I. But do you know what I hate even more? Finding myself making excuses for my failures! I have a policy that I try to live by: No excuses. Here are some thoughts on a "No Excuses" policy.

People will respect you. When you say that there are no excuses, that you blew it, and that you take full responsibility to make the situation right, people will be astounded (since very few people make no excuses) and they will come to a greater respect of you.

You will find yourself taking greater responsibility. When you know that your policy is to have no excuses, there will be less room for error because you will be doing everything that you can to make sure the JOB gets done!  You will become the "go to" person. When someone wants something done, they will turn to you because they know that they can count on you to perform. And they know they won't get any excuses! This will improve your level of success, and that is exactly what you are aiming for, right?
Practice up: "You're right. There is no excuse for that. I will fix it immediately."

Lessons on Life:

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge
things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look
at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in
summer, and the youngest son in the fall.

When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe
what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son
said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.

The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so
sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.

The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping
with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they
had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season,
and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come
from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons  are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring,
the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.

Moral:

Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.
Don't judge life by one difficult season.
Persevere through the difficult patches
and better times are sure to come some time or later   

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50 things to say before you die

You’ve read the lists that compiled the 50 or 100 places and things you must see and do before you die.

These lists are great for reminding you how short life is and for showing you what you’re missing.

This list is a little different; it compiles 50 things to say before you die.

Why such a list? Because you’d be surprised how little people express their selves and say what they need to say to those who matter. You don’t want to be on your deathbed before you utter these words.

You need to say these at the appropriate times and with true meaning behind them. Reading them now does not count.

1. Thanks for everything you’ve done. – Say it to your mother, father, grandmother, or sister; whoever deserves it. Say it when it’s least expected and when it will make the most impact.

2. You’ve changed my life.

3. I need you.

4. I’ve only got one life to live. – This will give you tremendous motivation.

5. Nothing can stop me.

6. I love my life.

7. There’s nothing I’d rather be doing.

8. I can change the world.

9. I will change the world.

10. I have changed the world.

11. I’m rich without money.

12. I’m doing what I was meant to do.

13. I conquered my biggest fear.

14. Glad to help you.

15. I have all the money I need.

16. I don’t care what people think.

17. I’m honest.

18. I’m going for it!

19. I’m proud of myself.

20. I’ve failed.

21. I’ve learned from my failures.

22. I have no regrets. – Many people believe everything happens for a reason. So why would you have any regrets?

23. I don’t like my life – Of course it’s a bad thing to say. But once you’ve acknowledged that you don’t like your life you can now begin to change it.

24. I’ve never had more fun in my life.

25. You hurt me.

26. There’s more to life than this.

27. I love you no matter what.

28. I’ve accomplished a lot.

29. You’ve been successful.

30. I’m listening. – Sometimes it’s more important to listen than to talk.

31. I’m here for you.

32. Words can’t describe the way I feel.

33. I’m not giving up.

34. I don’t have any worries.

35. There is no place like home.

36. It was a pleasure to talk to you.

37. I have all the time in the world.

38. I need a hand.

39. You’re my best friend.

40. I’m glad you were here.

41. I’m just gonna go for it.

42. I can’t thank you enough.

43. I’m trusting my gut.

44. I follow my own path.

45. What a wonderful world.

46. I take full responsibility. – Own up to your mistakes, people will respect you.

47. I’m not sorry. – There are times when you shouldn’t be sorry.

48. I came, I saw, I conquered.

49. I haven’t said enough.

50. I’m not afraid.

(Source from: lyved.com)

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20 Ways to Change the World

Here are twenty things that you can do to change people’s lives, yourself, and the world. These are in no particular order.

1 – Adopt – Adopting someone is one of the greatest things you can do. You’ll change your life and someone else’s. Adopt a baby, a child, or a teen. By being adopted they’ll always know that there is truly kind people in the world and they’ll pay it back to society.

2 – Just Be Nice – This is something EVERYONE can do, you don’t need any money or any talent. Hold the door for someone, smile, or say hello. You will change someone’s whole day, week, month, year, or maybe even life. Then they’ll be nicer to others, which will just continue the cycle and you won’t even realize that YOU changed THOUSANDS of lives.

3 – Donate – Donate blood, food, time, money, or whatever you can. Donate online, help entrepreneurs in developing countries on Kiva, lend to people on Prosper, or just play the simple game on FreeRice.

4 – Be Positive – Bring more positivity into the world. It so simple but so effective.

5 – Listen – Listen to people, let them talk, learn about their lives, sometimes that’s all someone needs.

6 – Start a Business – Become a social entrepreneur with a company that donates a portion of your profits to charity, or employ those “at risk”. Don’t hire those who graduated from the most prestigious universities and had an easy life, hire those that struggled and triumphed through adversity. They’ll work the hardest because they know what it takes.

7 – Create Art – “Paint” the world. Create more music, paintings, writings, photography, or any other art. Art inspires, motivates, and changes lives.

8 – Get Vocal – Have a cause that you’re passionate about? Get out there and make your voice heard. Hold rallies, protest, write letters, write articles in newspapers, blog about it, or start a forum. Being silent isn’t going to do anything.

9 – Be a Great Parent – Teach your children about the world and how they can change it. Teach them that the possibilities of life are limitless.

10 - Pick Up Trash – No one seems to do this. Just pick up trash that you see lying on the ground. Every little bit helps.

11 – Talk – When you’re done listening, talk. Talk about their life, your life, the weather. Talk to strangers sitting next to you on a bench. You never know where it can lead.

12 – Be an Inspiration – Do something that people said you could never do. Take risks and succeed! This will inspire others to do the same and continue the cycle.

13 – Become a Teacher – Become a teacher with the true ambition of teaching children to succeed in school and in life. Teach from books but also teach from life.

14 – Become a Surrogate Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, Whatever – Many children and adults who lost or were abandoned by a family member may desire to fill that void. Many children from broken families need help to break the cycle and statistics. Become a Big Brother or Big Sister, be someone they never had.

15 – Vote – Vote in your local elections and national elections. Choose a candidate that can truly follow through, not the one that promises all these grand plans that never seem to pan out.

16 – Don’t Be Judgmental- Too many people judge others on the way they look. You can’t judge a book by its cover. Someone may look completely different than you on the outside but be completely the same on the inside.

17 – Travel the World – Travel around the world and experience new places. Help the economies and people of foreign countries. Embrace their cultures and share your experiences of them with people you know.

18 – Dream & Do: Dream of a better world then go out there and create it. Dreams become reality with enough work and determination.

19 – Focus – Focus on one of these ideas or another one you came up with. Pour all of your energy into one idea until you succeed in changing someone, yourself, or the world. After you do that, then focus on another idea.

20 – Do Something With Your Life! – You don’t have to be a celebrity or a millionaire, just be an productive member of society.

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Take Control of Your Life or Personal Leadership

Each day you have the ability to make the choice to take control of your life, or to let it control you. You can either be proactive, or you can let circumstances call the shots.

take control of your lifeTo take control of your life or exercise personal leadership is to take responsibility for yourself and for every area of your life. It means being connected with your values, your vision and to set meaningful goals for yourself. When you do, you become more productive, more optimistic, able to solve problems more easily and ultimately have less stress in your life.

No doubt, with all the chaos and uncertainty that is going in the world these days it may be difficult to feel like you are in charge of your life, and while there are some things you have no control over, there is much that you do. Understand that you are the principal architect and creator of your life and that you are where you are at, because of the choices and decisions you have made thus far.

An interesting concept that I came across in my readings recently, and as it relates to personal leadership, is to see yourself as the CEO of your own life. If you were to apply it to yourself, how would run your life? What kind of strategic planning would you do and how would you envision your future? I would guess that in seeing yourself as the CEO of your life, you would be inspired to think in a more effective, results oriented manner.

As your own CEO, here are some ways in which you can take control of your life and exercise personal leadership:

Determine your values and what's important to you.  As I wrote in Have A Personal Value System, knowing what your values are gives you structure and purpose, which in turn directs you on how to focus your time and efforts. It would be similar to the 'mission statement' a company would hold. As you probably know, a mission statement typically spells out the overall goals and drives the actions of an organization. It likewise provides a roadmap and guides the decision-making processes for management.

personal leadership In your life your mission statement could be something like: "My purpose is to live life to the fullest by taking the care of my health, relationships, finances and overall happiness to the best of my abilities."

When you state your objective so succinctly, you can't help but be focused and take the right actions for where you need to be. This also helps keep you from being aimless and scattered, not to mention avoiding hit and miss situations.

Plan, be organized and set goals. Think of the big picture of what you want in your life and then break it down to manageable parts. For everything that you want to accomplish, you need a strategy or action plan. One way is to set goals appropriate to your mission statement and then devise a plan on how to go about achieving them. Nothing happens by itself; so taking charge of your life entails taking the bull by the horns. Rather than daydreaming about what you want or engaging in wishful thinking, you set the wheels in motion for success. In fact, the planning stages can actually be fun and challenging! Not only will you achieve your objectives, you will sharpen your critical thinking and problem solving skills in the process. The most successful CEOs in the world are those who set realistic, achievable goals for their companies, plan the best strategies and then execute them accordingly. They also set their priorities, organize their tasks and duties and make sure all the different departments are running smoothly and efficiently. There is a famous quote that states, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

Maintain a positive attitude. Sometimes one of the hardest things to do is remain positive when your best efforts to take control of your life don't go according to plan. As any CEO will tell you, there are always obstacles and roadblocks that get in the way of any launch or rollout. In another similar example, ask any athlete, inventor or composer. Would you think that everything comes together for them smoothly and without any glitches? Definitely not!
The quality or character trait that separates those who succeed and those that do not, is a positive attitude and an unshakable belief in themselves. They do not let negative thoughts or obstacles get in the way of ultimate achievement. Of course, that does not mean that it is easy; it means that persistence and focus are necessary. Those who cannot maintain control of their lives quite often want to give up at first sign of trouble or difficulty. When that happens, all else seems to unravel as well, and they mistakenly feel they have no control of anything at all in their lives. This type of mindset is both counterproductive and detrimental to progress. Maintaining a positive attitude is absolutely essential for taking control of your life.

personalHave fun. While taking control of your life involves a lot of planning, strategy and executing, it could weigh you down if you forget to take time to have some fun. Living a full, productive life requires maintaining balance between work, relaxation and recreation. Too much structure makes Jack or Jill a dull person.

To take control of your life try an experiment by envisioning yourself as the CEO of your personal company - your own life. The concept alone will make you feel more in control. Then make the types of plans, choices and decisions that you would expect a successful CEO would make and you will be surprised at how much more in control of your life you will feel. It may take some practice and role playing, but the outcome will be - YOU in control of your life. 

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Good Communication Skills

Good communication skills are key to success in life, work and relationships. Without effective communication, a message can turn into error, misunderstanding, frustration, or even disaster by being misinterpreted or poorly delivered.

communication-communication is the process by which we exchange information between individuals or groups of people. It is a process where we try as clearly and accurately as we can, to convey our thoughts, intentions and objectives.

Communication is successful only when both the sender and the receiver understand the same information.

In today's highly informational and technological environment it has become increasingly important to have good communication skills. While many individuals still continue to struggle, an inability to communicate effectively will hold them back in their careers and in social and personal relationships.


Important steps for acquiring good communication skills: 

   1. Know what you want to say and why.
      Understand clearly the purpose and intent of your message. Know to whom you are communicating and why. Consider any barriers you may encounter such as cultural differences or situational circumstances (gender, age, or economic biases). Ask yourself what outcome you want to achieve and the impression you want to leave.

   2. How will you say it?
      We're all aware by now, that it's not always what you say, but how you say it, that counts. Begin by making eye contact. You inspire trust and confidence when you look a person in the eyes when you speak. Second, be aware of your body language, since it can say as much, or more, than your words. By standing with arms easily at your side you tell others that you are approachable and open to hearing what they have to say. If, instead, your arms are crossed and shoulders hunched, it suggests disinterest or unwillingness to communicate. Good posture and an approachable stance help make even difficult communication flow more smoothly. Make sure you speak in a cooperative, non-adversarial tone. Be nonjudgmental.

   3. Listen.
      Communication is a two way street. After you've said what you have to say, stop, listen, and look for feedback and clues of comprehension. While the person is responding avoid any impulses to cut them off or listen only for the end of the sentence so that you can blurt out more ideas or thoughts that come to your mind. Respectfully give them your full attention. When they are finished, to ensure that your message has been clearly and correctly understood, ask open questions and encourage discussion. Fine-tune your message if necessary.

   4. Reach understanding, agreement or consensus.
      Once you have had to opportunity to discuss your message and the feedback to it, re-visit the purpose of the interchange. Have you reached common ground, solved a problem or clarified your position? If the purpose was to teach or instruct, have you accomplished your goal? To communicate well is to understand and be understood. Make sure that your message has been received as intended and that any questions or concerns have been alleviated. You can even agree to disagree. There are no guarantees that your communication efforts will be meet with total compliance and agreement. As long as you understand each other, are cordial and respectful, you can still have a successful exchange.

      

More Tips for Developing Good Communication Skills

    * To obtain a better command of the English language (or any other language), expand your vocabulary by reading and writing more. Look up words you're not familiar with. The better you are able to express yourself, the better your ability to communicate.

      
    * Practice your listening skills. Be considerate of other speakers by waiting until they are done before stating your views. Process what has being said before responding.

      
    * Learn to understand and appreciate opposing points of view by being open-minded and making an effort to see things from others' perspective. It will in turn, gain you more cooperation and understanding.

      
    * Avoid trying to communicate when in an emotional state. You lose objectivity and may say something inappropriate or regrettable. Take time to think your position through before speaking.

      
    * Join an organization such as Toastmasters that encourages you to develop a variety of communication skills, as well as the opportunity to meet new and interesting people.

When you take the time to acquire and hone good communication skills you open yourself up to better relationships, more career opportunities and increased self-confidence. You also reach higher levels of mutual understanding and cooperation while achieving your goals with even greater success. All new skills take time to refine, however, with effort and practice you can develop good, even exceptional, communication skills.

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Critical Thinking or To Reason

Critical thinking is the mental process of analyzing or evaluating information. 'To reason' is the capacity for rational thought, or to think logically.

Once you have established a solid foundation or a healthy self-concept, it is important to be able to think critically, or to reason.

Everyone thinks; however, much of our thinking is reactive, biased, uninformed and often prejudiced. More often than not, it is also haphazard and undisciplined.

Why do we need to think critically?thethinker

In order to assess our role in, and the consequences of any actions we take, we must be able to evaluate and determine what is taking place in a given situation.

This requires us to organize our thinking, integrate the information at hand, distinguish between what is fact and what is opinion, and then weigh potential outcomes.

By thinking critically, instead of reacting emotionally to a problem, we employ strategies which:

    * Help us learn from an experience
    * Help prevent it from occurring again
    * Result in a reasonable, effective solution

The quality of life we experience is in direct proportion to the quality of our thinking.

Critical thinking is self-disciplined, self-monitored and problem solving thinking. It promotes open-mindedness, putting things in perspective, and a positive attitude.

When we don't reason or think critically we subject ourselves to fleeting, erratic or unpredictable emotions. Of course, this does not mean we should deny or suppress our emotions, for indeed, they are a vital and significant element of who we are. Instead, we must learn how to make them work for us, not against us.

Critical thinking helps us balance our emotions, which in turn leads to good judgment and making informed, good decisions.

For the most part, critical thinking does not come naturally. It takes effort, training and practice.

As A. E. Mander wrote in his book Logic For the Millions: "Thinking is skilled work. It is not true that we are naturally endowed with the ability to think clearly and logically - without learning how, or without practicing. People with untrained minds should no more expect to think clearly and logically than people who have never learned and never practiced can expect to find themselves good carpenters, golfers, bridge players, or pianists."
Tips On Improving Critical Thinking

    *Play strategy games, sudoku and solve crossword puzzles.
    *Read more. Reading improves focus, imagination and vocabulary which results in heightened thinking skills.
    * Engage in healthy debates in class or with your friends. Argue both sides of an argument.
    *As Edward De Bono, the lateral thinking psychologist suggests, use the GBI technique, in which you list the good, bad and interesting points of a position.
    *Look at a problem from as many viewpoints as possible.

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Why are these skills essential?

Because without having developed them, you will always feel that something is missing in your life. What good is all the financial success in the world if you don't have self-confidence, know who you really are, what you  want, or what you're doing here? We've all witnessed many outwardly successful and famous people who have not been able to find personal happiness. No amount of fame or fortune could fill the void they felt inside.

Therefore, in order to enjoy the fruits of any achievement we must first be happy with ourselves and possess the following:

A healthy Self-Concept which includes the three skills of:
1. Know Yourself9 essential life skills
2. Love Yourself
3. Be True To Yourself.

The Critical Thinking that is needed to work on developing and honing the rest of the skills including:
4. Having A Personal Value System
5. Perspective
6. Have An Open Mind
7. Sense Of Humor
8. Resilience
9. Acceptance.

Personal development is an ongoing process and journey. As Robert Louis Stevenson said:

"To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life."

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Essential Life Skills for Personal Development

What is personal development?

Personal development is the pursuit of developing, honing and mastering the skills that help us become the best that we can, with all that we have. It is the reaching for, and realizing of, our full potential as human beings.

We all want to live full, productive lives, but sometimes, we just don't know where to begin. There is so much information 'out there' that it can be overwhelming and hard to sort out. Depending on the problem, what seems to work for one person, may not necessarily work for everyone.  There are so many different programs, strategies and techniques, that it's hard to chose the right one.

One thing, however, is certain. If we want to accomplish anything in life and realize our full potential, we must have some skills - in this case life skills.

In order to excel at a job, a sport or any discipline, a person must acquire and master certain skills. Living life fully and productively is no different.

Furthermore, possessing life skills enables you to deal with the life's inevitable difficulties and adversities more effectively.  It lessens your chances of overusing prescription drugs, engaging in addictive behaviors, and experiencing overall despair and hopelessness. When you have the proper tools and strategies at your disposal, you have more control over your life and are therefore happier and more productive.

Where do you begin?

You begin by establishing a firm foundation. That foundation is "you". You must know who you are, what you want, and what you are capable of. You must then determine which values, goals and principles you will set up to guide your actions.

Learning about and applying the 9 Essential Life Skills will help you. It will help you to:

    * know and understand yourself better
    * live life more consciously and deliberately
    * attain personal satisfaction and fulfillment.

Often, the hardest part in any endeavor is getting started, however once you do, there is a surprising snowball effect. You will begin to feel good about what you're doing and you'll  want to continue. You will want to keep improving yourself and you'll want to become the best that you can be.

As you continue on the journey of personal development, you will become aware that there is so much more knowledge and information to be discovered, and uncovered, than you ever thought possible - knowledge about yourself, knowledge about others, knowledge about life and the world around you.

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E-mail Communication

One of the main tasks at all levels of the project management food chain is to communicate with stakeholders and co-workers. Often, the main mode of communication is via email. Believe it or not, there are over 3 billion active email accounts in the world today and at least 25% of those are used for business proposes (1). How many emails do you send/receive a day?

Using email to communicate in the project management environment makes sense for a variety of reasons to include:

-It’s cheap.
-It’s fast!
-People are familiar with email use because it is used in their personal lives. (How many people do you know that do not have an email account?).
-Record of conversation is maintained.

What people often do not think about is every email communication becomes part of their “persona.” Especially in the virtual world where contact with stakeholders and co-workers may be sparse, sloppy, or unprofessional — emails may tarnish one’s reputation. If e-mail is your main, or only, contact with certain individuals it becomes like a saying I often heard in my Navy days… “Perception becomes reality.”

Some tips for using email:

-Consider putting an automatic 1-3 minute delay into sent email. Ever go to hit send and as you’re hitting the key you realize there is a mistake but your fingers are faster than your mind?
-Use Out-Of-Office when you will not be checking emails. Manage expectations! If you regularly communicate with somebody and suddenly stop, you may get the label of unreliable.
-Enable automatic spell check.
-Be aware of the size of the files you attach. If the files are very large, you may lock up the recipient’s email box.
-Use a signature line and include your contact information (name, title, mailing address, office phone, cell phone…). This can be done automatically so each and every email you send will have it included.
-Keep to and CC lines unfilled until you are ready to send. This will help prevent an inadvertent launch of the email before you are ready.
-If you are sending an important email, have someone proofread it before it is sent.

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